Hide Tanning, Grief Tending
TENDERS
A 5-DAY HIDE TANNING AND GRIEF TENDING RITUAL & RETREAT
For the second year in a row, an intimate group of grief tenders will gather for five transformative days of deep remembering and fortification. TENDERS is a gentle ritual for those called to work with grief in their communities. We’ll immerse ourselves in the ancient craft of hide tanning, working the hides while also working with our personal and collective griefs. We’ll be exploring what it means to both be held and to hold others.
By combining hide tanning and grief tending, we’ll discover what needs to be witnessed and worked for us to show up fully for The Long Dark. Together, we’ll tan sheep hides that can hold us in our softness, and help us expand our capacity to be with the sorrows of these times. This is a convergence of the wild and the sacred, where ancestral wisdom meets present calling.
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BUILDING A COMMUNAL CONTAINER
Two preparation pre-retreat zoom sessions
4 or 5-day in-person retreat in Colorado or New Mexico (location TBD)
Two integration post-retreat zoom sessions
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RETREAT OUTLINE (will be 4 or 5 days in 2026)
Arrival Day: Afternoon Arrival ~ Orientation & Ancestor Ritual
Day 2: Communal Hide Tanning, Grief Tending
Day 3: Communal Hide Tanning, Grief Tending
Day 4: Blessings, Fortification, Closing ~ End with Lunch
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DETAILS (will be solidified by end of 2025)
Retreat Dates (tentative): July 14-18th, 2025
Location: Colorado or New Mexico
Meals: All meals provided
Zoom Sessions: Two pre-ritual preparation sessions, two post-ritual integration session
Group Size: Limited to 15 participants
Investment: $2,000 – $3,400 USD (sliding scale + payment plans celebrated)
Application: Should be available in December 2025
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YOUR GUIDES
Holly Truhlar (she/they) is a collapse psychologist, politicized grief tender, and soul activist. Their body of work is a remembering-forward of what it means to be people of potency and culture. Through ritual, storytelling, imagination, creative practices, and Deep Democracy work, they mentor individuals and facilitate groups in the sacred work of grief and belonging. They hold a Doctorate in Law and a Master’s in Transpersonal Counseling Psychology, though their deepest learnings come through relationships with the Wild, including the Dreaming Earth, Ancestors, Hekate, and donkeys. Since 2023, Holly has co-facilitated two large grief ritual trainings with Francis Weller, drawing more than 1,000 learners into the communal work of grief tending and cultural repair. They are often called on to speak, teach, and advise organizations on liberatory grief work, rupture and repair processes, and soul-centered leadership.
Marissa Sieck (they/them): Marissa’s experience has guided their grief, love, and longing. It has been centered around community, personal relationships, accompaniment, social justice, nature connection, and trauma healing. They live on an urban farm in so-called Albuquerque, New Mexico, where they teach and tan hides, tend to plants, and facilitate ritual and ceremony in their community. Marissa experiences their grief as a guide, they trust the places grief takes them, and honors those places in others. They feel that without being with the personal and collective grief they couldn’t access the sense of aliveness that comes through them. They are grateful to the high desert, to the sheep, to their elders, and to the community for showing them how grief nourishes the land and our peoples.
Hannah Smith (retreat chef): Chef Hannah is the proud owner of Adventure through Food. Hannah believes that food is more than a meal; it’s an opportunity to remember that we are of the natural world. She loves the story that food tells: a story that weaves culture, history, and agriculture; a story told as much by the land as the hands cooking. By centering seasonal, local, and organic ingredients that nourish from the inside out, Chef Hannah curates dining experiences that invite deeper conversations with the lands with which we live.
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We met in 2020 and have been dreaming of weaving our work ever since. We’re delighted to bring this offering into being for the second year in a row. We love our TENDERS!
APPLICATION:
Available in December 2025
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FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Who is this for?
This is for politicized grief tenders who are facilitating or hoping to facilitate community grief work. We’re calling in soul oriented folks who are village-minded, interested in collective healing spaces, and willing to share in group responsibilities, such as setting up and cleaning up.
This is a good fit for you if you have some meaningful inner and outer resources, particularly beloved people and places you will return to.
We’re calling in people who: are compassionate, kind, courteous, and curious; ready to be in sacred space and take emotional-intimacy risks with new people; have a desire to be witnessed and witness others; want to be collaborative and feel ready to contribute what you have to offer, such as songs, cleaning, meal setup, stories, and knowledge.
This is for people who are physically capable of walking and tanning hides (see what that entails below). And, if interested in camping, people who can bring their own tent, sleeping pad, and sleeping bag.
What are the dates of all the online and in-person gatherings?
TBD. The ritual/retreat will be in July 2026.
Where is the retreat venue and what is it like?
TBD. We will solidify this by the end of 2025.
How accessible is the retreat venue and hide tanning?
Venue: We will have more information soon.
Hide Tanning: engages your whole body. Part of the work will be being on hands and knees, using needles and twine, working with sharp objects, standing or sitting in a chair for 5+ hours, and using repetitive use of arm motions and your hands and full body to soften and work the hide.
With that being said, we will be tending to the hides in small groups, we will rotate, we will rest, and if for whatever reason your body is resisting the tasks at hand, we will adapt and we will take care of each other. There are creative adaptations and solutions available. Please reach out about any questions or access needs.
What do I need to bring or know about hide tanning?
We will provide all materials for tanning hides. Please check the weather and pack accordingly. Layered clothes will help you be prepared for front range weather shifts. We will be outside for our hide time in an open meadow with some shade available. Bring sunhat + cold weather hat, warm clothes, sunglasses, and sunscreen. Wear close toed shoes for at least the first day.
This is a messy process. You will be getting intimate with a fresh hide. Wear clothes you do not mind getting wet/messy/skin/meat/fat on you +/or bring an apron.
What hides will we be working with? Where do you get them?
In 2026 we will be working with sheep hides. Each person will tan their own sheepskin that they will take home.
The hides are diverted from the waste stream, they are salvaged hides that are considered byproducts of the wild game and meat industries and are either thrown away or sold overseas to be chemically tanned.
Are you providing food and lodging?
Yes. All meals are included during your stay—simple breakfast options like oatmeal, yogurt, and bagels are available each morning, while lunch and dinner will be cooked by our retreat chef, Hannah Smith. For sleeping arrangements, you can either camp with your own tent and sleeping bag, or choose to stay in our simple bunkhouse with an indoor bathroom and bunkbeds (for an additional $25 per night).
I have dietary restrictions. How do you work with that?
We will take note of each person’s dietary restrictions and make sure the food menu reflects those needs. If there is something that we cannot accommodate, we will connect with you personally and make a plan.
What is the weather like?
We will have more information about soon.
What is the altitude like?
More info soon.
What are your health, safety, and pandemic protocols?
This event will be held predominantly outside, unless extreme weather arises. Meals will be served inside the Lodge, and seating will be available for outdoor eating.
We will request testing the day of travel and the first few days of our in-person time together. We highly suggest traveling via car and/or masking when traveling.
If anyone tests positive while together, we will establish a space for quarantining, and help take care of their needs, and possibly implement masking if community spread is of concern.
We will discuss and adapt any protocols in order to create a covid/flu conscious time together. See this document for more about Health and Safety Protocols: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1KSXcUf2jIbNYQ_QJb4ZUN8AG2NJvdIfKv0LlzQNhtjA/edit?usp=sharing
What is your Cancellation Policy?
Here is our cancellation policy: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1KSXcUf2jIbNYQ_QJb4ZUN8AG2NJvdIfKv0LlzQNhtjA/edit?usp=sharing
How do I prepare for our retreat and ritual time?
We will have two 90-minute preparation zoom sessions prior to the in-person retreat. This will be a time to build relationships, set group expectations, and prepare.
What do I need to bring?
journal + pen
altar items
water bottle
headlamp/flashlight
rain coat + warm layers
close toed shoes, sandals
clothes you don’t mind getting messy while hide tanning
day clothes, lounge clothes, pajamas
personal items (toiletries, books, art supplies, etc)
if camping: tent, sleeping bag, sleeping pad
Any other questions? Please email us at holly@hollytruhlar.com.
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More than just a retreat, TENDERS is an intimate container centered around a five-day in-person gathering where we’ll weave together the ancestral practice of hide tanning with the sacred work of tending our personal and collective sorrows.